Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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