hell yes lets make some ravioli
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
