I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
