He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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