I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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