he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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