that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize