you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
