there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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