big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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