I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
