they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize