I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
