So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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