Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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