HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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