love makes seman taste better
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
