I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
