i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
