i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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