I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
