Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
