Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
