cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
