i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
