youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
