wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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