He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
