But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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