she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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