I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
