I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
