Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
