you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
