OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize