and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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