I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
