Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They have beer where we have blood.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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