More tranny stories later!
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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