Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(435): View more from Utah

oh god the rape fog is back!

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(281): View more from Texas

had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.

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(416): View more from Toronto

At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?

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(954): View more from Florida

I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.

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(503): View more from Oregon

She wants to have naked weekends

(541): View more from Oregon

They call that free range vagina in France

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(913): View more from Kansas

How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?

(1-913): View more from Kansas

WHO DOES THAT

(913): View more from Kansas

I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.

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(815): View more from Illinois

When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.

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