Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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