i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
