I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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