im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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