i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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