I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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