So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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