I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
