how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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