Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
