OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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