I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
