I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
