Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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