You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
