Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
