I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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