Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
