God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
