i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
