I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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