3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
