No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
